A free guide to what to do first, what to try together at home, and how to use the time while you wait for services.
Start with step 1 ↓
Pick something your child already enjoys, like bubbles, toy cars, or a favorite book. Sit beside them and see what they’re interested in. Let them choose how to play and try joining in.
Pick one useful thing your child could communicate, such as help, more, or all done. Notice a signal, put a short phrase to it, then respond. A reach, a sound, a gesture, a picture, or a word can all count.
Say the phrase as the moment happens. Give your child a brief pause to respond and keep the interaction moving.
“More bubbles!”
Blow a few bubbles, then pause after they pop. If your child reaches, points, or makes a sound, say the phrase and blow more. If they’re interested and you see no clear signal, say “More” once and blow again.
“Help open.”
Say it as you open the toy. If your child already says “help,” try “Help me” while you help.
“Car goes!”
Copy what they’re doing with your own car. Roll yours once and pause. If they keep playing their way, stay alongside and join in.
“All done.”
If they push the toy away or move away, honor the signal and stop. If they’re upset, pause the activity and focus on helping them feel comfortable.
Keep it low-pressure. Offer help, food, and comfort freely. Avoid requiring speech, repetition, or eye contact. Use the language your family is comfortable speaking.
“Más burbujas.” “Te ayudo a abrir.” “¡Va el coche!” “Ya terminamos.”
Start with one toy and one phrase. Sit beside your child with two toy cars, copy what they do with yours, say “Car goes!” and pause. A few minutes is enough to try it. Follow their interest and let the game end when they walk away.
If they line up cars or books, make your own row beside theirs. Say “Car” or “Book” and notice what helps them stay and play alongside you.
Choose one word. Say “Help open” as you open a toy box, or “More bubbles!” as you blow more after a reach or sound. Respond to their gestures, pictures, sounds, or words.
If they push a book away, say “All done” and close it. If they hit or throw, make space and keep everyone safe. Practice the phrase later, when they’re calm.
If “help” worked with a toy box, try it while putting on shoes. Invite another caregiver to try it too. Bring a few examples to intake of what your child did and how you responded.
Weeks 5 and beyond. Repeat what helps and go at your child’s pace. You can stay on one step as long as it’s useful.
WHO caregiver guide for learning through play and daily routines
If you’re already on an ABA waitlist, ask the clinic what paperwork is still needed, what the next milestone is, and whether they have a cancellation list. Keep the written evaluation handy. Ask your child’s care team about communication support and whether a speech-language evaluation would help.
If you’re in the U.S. and your child is under 3, you can contact your state’s early intervention program directly while you wait. Find your early intervention program (CDC).
Share what your child enjoys, how they ask for things, and what makes daily routines easier or harder. Bring one or two examples from home.
These activities are everyday caregiver practice. A qualified clinician can help you decide whether ABA is a fit and develop an individualized plan with your family.
One family went to their regular pediatrician for a routine checkup in May. During the visit, the pediatrician noticed something about their toddler’s development and referred him to a specialist for an autism evaluation. The family had booked an ordinary checkup, and it gave them a next step.
At the 12-month checkup, bring up anything you’ve noticed about how your child plays, gestures, communicates, or responds to you. The pediatrician can discuss their development and recommend screening or an evaluation if there’s a concern. In the U.S., the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends routine autism-specific screening at 18 and 24 months. If you or the pediatrician have concerns sooner, you can ask about screening or a referral right away.
What to say at the visit
“I’ve noticed a few things about how my child plays and communicates. Can we review his milestones? Would screening or a referral for an evaluation make sense now?”
If you get a referral, ask who schedules the evaluation and when to follow up if you haven’t heard back. A screening helps identify whether a closer evaluation is needed. The evaluation is where a qualified clinician can make a diagnosis.
If something about how your child plays, communicates, or responds to you keeps catching your attention, write it down and bring it up with their pediatrician. Clinicians look at patterns across development. One observation by itself can’t tell you whether your child is autistic.
Clinicians may describe a strong preference for keeping a particular arrangement as rigidity or insistence on sameness. Lining things up can also be described as repetitive play. Stimming is a broader everyday term for repetitive actions or sounds that can help with regulation or feel enjoyable. From the behavior alone, you can describe what your child did, but you can’t know why they did it. There’s no need to move things on purpose to test their reaction.
At the beach
Keep your child within arm’s reach at the water’s edge and in the water. Take turns assigning one adult to watch closely. For climbing, block access to unsafe spots, secure furniture that could tip, and supervise play on age-appropriate equipment.
During an autism evaluation, the clinicians noticed one toddler looking at objects out of the corner of his eyes. They may call this unusual visual inspection. Examples include turning the head to look at a toy from the side or holding a toy very close to the eyes. It’s one observation clinicians can consider alongside how a child communicates, plays, and responds to others. By itself, it can’t tell you whether a child is autistic.
If you see this often, tell your pediatrician what your child looks at and whether they tend to turn their head the same way or close one eye. Ask whether a vision check would help, since an unusual head position can also be related to vision or eye alignment.
New York State guidance on autism assessment · American Academy of Ophthalmology guidance on pediatric eye exams
Tell the pediatrician if you notice a pattern such as rarely responding to their name, rarely pointing or showing you something just to share interest, limited back-and-forth play, or repeated movements and strong distress around changes. Mention any speech delay or loss of words, gestures, or other skills the child previously used. If skills are lost, call the pediatrician promptly.
Ask for developmental and autism screening when you have a concern. Routine autism screening is recommended at 18 and 24 months. Bring a few examples with your child’s age, how often you see the behavior, and what happens in different settings. A short clip of ordinary play may help show what you mean. Keep it private and share it with the care team if helpful. If you’re in the U.S. and your child is under 3, you can also contact Early Intervention directly for an evaluation while you wait.
CDC signs and symptoms · CDC screening guidance · AAP water safety · AAP toddler safety
A 2-year-old can hit or throw when frustrated, overwhelmed, tired, or trying to tell you something. Start by making room for everyone to be safe. You can figure out what led up to it once things settle.
If your child is sweeping things off the table or throwing toward someone, move people out of range and set hot, sharp, heavy, or breakable items out of reach if you can do it safely. If they hit your chest, step back out of reach. Stay nearby and supervise. If two adults are there, one can stay with your child while the other checks on anyone who was hurt.
Say calmly
“I won’t let you hit. I’m stepping back.” Or, “I’m moving the cup. I’m right here.”
Pause the demand or activity, use fewer words, and reduce noise if you can. Check whether your child seems hungry, tired, in pain, or bothered by something around them. Offer comfort if they want it and give them space if they pull away. Save questions and teaching for later.
If they often push things off the table when they’re finished, model “All done” or show an all-done picture and help them set the item down. If hitting happens when a toy won’t open, model “Help” as you open it. Respond to a gesture, picture, sound, or word. If your child enjoys throwing, try a soft ball into a laundry basket together when they’re calm.
Jot down what happened just before, what your child did, and what helped. For example, “Dinner ended, he swept the cup off the table, and he settled when I cleared the table and we took a break.” Share a few examples with the pediatrician or Early Start team if it happens often, is getting more intense, causes injuries, or is hard to manage safely. If someone is seriously injured or in immediate danger and you can’t keep them safe, call emergency services.
American Academy of Pediatrics guidance on hitting and other aggressive behavior.
Play together for a few minutes. Start with a picture your child likes, say the word, then try it with a real toy or during a routine.
You can ask your child’s pediatrician or Early Start team now about a speech-language evaluation and whether to check hearing. Share what your child understands and how they communicate across all the languages they hear. ASHA guidance on early language development.
Start with what you want to help your child do. For early learning, try a shared picture book. For everyday communication, explore augmentative and alternative communication (AAC), which can let your child use pictures and a device voice to express themselves.
Early learning for ages 2–8, with books and games. Try one picture book together. Point to something your child notices, say its name, and pause. If it’s a ball, find a real ball and roll it together.
Get Khan Academy KidsA customizable picture-based communication app. During play, model a useful word like “more” on the app and say it out loud. If your child reaches for more bubbles, respond to the reach and blow more.
Explore Weave Chat AACA picture-based communication app that supports English and Spanish. If your family uses both languages, ask your speech-language pathologist to explore the bilingual setup with you before you buy.
Explore Proloquo2GoAsk your child’s speech-language pathologist or early intervention team to help choose a setup that fits how your child moves, sees, and communicates across the languages they use. You can explore AAC at age 2. Model it yourself and respond to gestures, sounds, pictures, or words. If your child uses AAC to communicate, keep it available during daily routines. ASHA’s guide to AAC in early intervention.
Our family was told a provider could come to our home for about three hours at a time. Easterseals describes providing ABA at home and in the community. Ask how long and how often your child’s visits would be and what staff would do during that time.
If your child is under 3 and you have concerns about speech, play, movement, or another area of development, call Regional Center intake and ask for an Early Start evaluation. Parents can contact Early Start directly, including while waiting for an autism evaluation or ABA services. The evaluation helps determine eligibility and what support may be available.
Early Start intake
(714) 796-5354
“My child is under 3, and I’d like to request an Early Start evaluation. What information do you need from me?”
Apply or learn more on RCOC’s Early Start page.
Easterseals provides applied behavior analysis (ABA) and serves Orange County. Kaiser Permanente’s provider directory lists (909) 581-8218 for Easterseals ABA appointments and information. Easterseals also lists (855) 377-2411 as its general ABA information number.
Our Easterseals Zoom orientation
Our family’s orientation is scheduled for , from 4:00 to 5:00 p.m. Pacific time. We’ll use the session to ask what happens after orientation and when we can expect an ABA start date. If you’re enrolling, call Easterseals to ask about your own orientation date. See the questions to bring.
Why we started xAutism
Our family was told it could take about 120 days for our child to start ABA through Easterseals. That was the estimate we were given. Ask about the current wait for your own referral. We wanted something we could do with our child today, so we made this free guide for families in the same situation. Start with a familiar play routine or try the First Words game together while you wait for services.
Kaiser Permanente directory listing · Easterseals ABA services and contact information
For a local option, see ACES Irvine Central. Ask about toddler intake, availability, and insurance coverage.
A starting point for parents of toddlers. It weaves communication and shared play into familiar routines.
Publisher page for An Early Start for Your Child with AutismPractical ideas for supporting communication during play and everyday activities.
Publisher page for More Than WordsExplore what behavior may communicate and ways to support the person behind it.
Publisher page for Uniquely HumanA personal account of one autistic young person’s experiences.
Publisher page for The Reason I JumpThese stories offer different perspectives. Availability can vary by country.
Documentary series about autistic adults navigating dating and relationships.
Watch on NetflixScripted series about three autistic roommates navigating work, friendship, and independence.
Watch on Prime VideoA Pixar short about a nonspeaking autistic girl and a boy learning to communicate on a canoe trip.
Watch on Disney+Recent autism headlines from Google News. The articles come from outside publishers.